I was at the bank a couple days ago, frustrated that the three tellers all working with customers were taking forever. A man with a cleanly shaved head wearing a black suit and very dark squared glasses and I were the only people waiting… and waiting. He was behind me, stone-faced; I wondered if he were seething more than I was frustrated so I casually approached him.
“These people must all be wanting ten thousand dollar withdrawals…all in dimes,” I jested.
The barely discernable gripping of his jaw along with a squint of displeasure delivered as he pulled off his shades let me know that he was none too pleased.
“While were here, mind if I ask you a question?” I posed, embarking on my new project to solicit interesting human stories whenever I was out in public.
With a shoulder gesture of invitation, he replied. “Shoot…though I don’t guarantee an answer.”
“What’s the most interesting story you can think of, you know, something you were involved in that would intrigue people?”
“If I answered that question,” he smirked, “I’d be on my way to the slammer first and then lose my job.”
“Sorry I asked.”
“It’s okay. See, I work for U. S. Secret Service, Presidential security.” His eyes and mouth must have been anatomically connected because they both narrowed, into what I thought was a smile. “I have stories that would build you an audience if you were a writer.”
“Well I am…not as well known as I’d like; sure it would help,” I told him, knowing it would make no difference in terms of him sharing some harrowing episode of threat to the life of our leader. With that in mind, I changed the direction of the conversation. “Does it matter to you who the president is; I mean, if you hate him or love him?”
“Just call me O’Conner, okay?”
“I’ll answer you this way. My job is really to defend the office, that’s how all of us look at it. It’s about our country and making sure that some lame-ass from another world doesn’t come tearing apart what we enjoy here. Let me tell you, I’ve seen some bad shit in parts of the world. So in answer to your question, the man might be a full dick but I still swear my allegiance to protect him.”